38 yer olds are good kisserssss
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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