I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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