Just mADE A PArabola og urine
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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