I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i just google imaged poop.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Randomize
