Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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