I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I'm gonna fight the coyote
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
