my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
