i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
She needs sedatives and a leash
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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