my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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