She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
