Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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