So many bounce houses so little time
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
