I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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