can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
