You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
