What a fucking waste of an outfit
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
