I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
