there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
