Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
