Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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