Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
