In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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