Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
