WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Bring me that man meat
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
