I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
