Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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