Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
