she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
