He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize
