don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
