I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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