Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
