Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
