My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
