her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Blood and glitter go together right?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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