I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
