So drunk its hurt
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
