I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
