We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
