Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
