I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
