I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
