the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
