found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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