I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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