This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize