do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
