it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
