Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
