my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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