one two three fourrrrnication!
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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