shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
