At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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