Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
