farters have to be the big spoon...
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
